Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
