I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
