I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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