I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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