im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
