I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm really busy with my period
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