just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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