belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
