just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
