They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
