They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
