id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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