i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
