Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
