My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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