it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
