Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize