guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
