i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
