They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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