This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
