either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
