I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
