In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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