Umm I'm too high to move.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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