i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
