return my video game
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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