The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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