Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize