But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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