The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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