i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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