We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
