You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
only you would photoshop your dick
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
