i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
