How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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