idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
