a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
accomplished twins. life is a go
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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