Got a toothbrush?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize