He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
