i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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