Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
