so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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