distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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