No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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