what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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