i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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