Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
