She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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