Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
