i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
