Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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