Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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