some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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