I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
