i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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