I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
