Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
