Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
